Wash the Cat: Real Self-Care Isn’t Cute

Wash the Cat: Real Self-Care Isn’t Cute

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Hot take: self-care sounds sexy…in theory.

Overpriced candles, bubble baths, maybe a cheeky little drink next to a book you’re not actually reading. Don’t even get me started on my bowl of popcorn (that’s right, I poured it out of the bag). All of that sounds great idealistically, but in reality? Self-care is not nearly as glamorous. Real self care is cleaning out the fridge, hand over mouth, eyes watering at whatever nuclear abomination just hatched. Real self care is pulling the spawn of Satan himself—Henry Hoover—out of the closet for his first use in several weeks. Real self-care is putting the new trash bag PROPERLY into the trash bin, and not just hanging it on a drawer handle. Shiver. 

Ok, here’s the rub: self-care isn’t always fun. In fact, it’s usually quite the opposite. It can feel just like scrubbing a cat in a bathtub—hissing, clawing, PLEASE GOD NO. And yet, necessary. 

Which brings me to the metaphor you didn’t know you needed: you are both the cat AND the cat owner. You are the squirmy, little creature hissing at any sign of responsibility. And you are also the weary caretaker who knows that yes, the cat must be bathed, even if it doesn’t know that’s what’s best for it. 

It comes down to understanding the cat’s needs and limits, but also knowing when it’s time for the owner to step in. The question is: what does that balance look like? 

I Am the Cat, the Cat is Me

Let’s start with your inner cat. 

This part of you is go-with-the-flow. It likes to nap at odd hours, ignore texts, eat nine snacks instead of one meal, and refuse to go to therapy because “I’m actually fine, Susan, THANKS.” The cat is tired and unbothered.  

Because cats don’t care about rules. They vomit on the carpet when the tile floor is right there. They sprint at 3 a.m. like a demon is chasing them (spoiler: the demon is anxiety). They don’t want your help, because they don’t think they need it. 

This is the epitome of our cat-selves. Stubborn, dodging discomfort. Throw in bailing on the gym, procrastinating a doctor’s appointment, or avoiding our friends, and we’re birds of a feather. Because when something feels unpleasant, we assume it must be bad. But that’s not how growth works. Believe me, that’s a hard lesson all cats have to learn.

I Hate The Cat: Love, The Owner

Now let’s talk about your inner cat owner. This part of you loves the cat. Deeply. But also knows that left unchecked, that cat will eat a rubber band and rack up a £1,200 vet bill. 

The owner part of you is painfully on-the-ball. They schedule things. Brush teeth. Do laundry. Go for walks. Pay bills. Eat vegetables (that aren’t fried). This version of you gives the cat (you) what it needs, not just what it wants.

Because here’s the truth: self-care is not indulgence. It’s maintenance.

You wouldn’t say brushing a cat’s fur is “spoiling it.” It’s what keeps it from turning into a living lint ball from the dryer. Likewise, going to bed before 2 a.m. isn’t “treating yourself”—it’s preventing a personal collapse.

“I think self care is super important but it does not come easily. I feel it is harder than doing things that are more comfortable, but disguised as self care.”  ~Aaliyah Payton (she/her), Political Science Major

Sometimes, the cat hates what the owner is doing. 

*Hides pill in a turkey slice. 

“Traitor, TRAITOR.” 

Sometimes, it’s hard to push yourself when you, too, would rather not. But the owner loves the cat, and they’ll tolerate whatever hissing and scratching they need to to make sure it lives a functional life. 

A Worldly Understanding 

Lacking in the self-care area isn’t something you ought to beat yourself up about. It’s not like it’s been made easy.

The fact that we even need to be reminded to brush our teeth, take breaks, or drink water says a lot about the systems we live in. Late-stage capitalism (that fun end-of-the-world flavor of economics we’re currently marinating in) thrives on your productivity, not your peace. You’re expected to be endlessly available, emotionally polished, and ideally marketable. Rest? Only if it’s optimized. Joy? Only if it looks good for the company. It’s no wonder we treat self-care like a rebellious act when, really, it should be as basic as breathing. 

Even more so, the accessibility of self-care is often stratified. A wealthy person’s “self-care” might look like a month in Spain or a trip to the resort. Meanwhile, someone working two jobs can’t take time off, and really just wants 15-20 minutes to themselves take a walk after dinner, and maybe even go to bed early. 

“Self-care in a world which teaches us to dislike ourselves, overwork ourselves, and prioritise success over happiness, is radical… Self-care is our birthright as human beings. It is not always aesthetic or productive (Mila, 2022).”

Self-care, then, becomes not just a personal responsibility, but that quiet form of rebellion. When you rest, when you set boundaries, when you refuse to be productive for the sake of it—you’re saying, “My value is not in how much I produce, but in the fact that I exist.” That’s radical. 

It’s worth noting that our need for self-care doesn’t exist on it’s own—it’s a reaction to systems that reward overwork and treat exhaustion like a badge of honor. We live in a culture that commodifies productivity and treats rest as laziness. So yes, wash the cat—but don’t forget the tub is leaky because the pipes are broken.

You’re Worth the Bath

Being a human is weird. You’re expected to operate complex machinery (your brain), handle logistics (your life), and do it all while smiling like you didn’t just spend 10 minutes Googling “can stress kill me.”

Self-care won’t always feel good. But if you think of it like pet care—something done out of love, even when it’s hard—it suddenly makes a lot more sense.

“I think the trick is creating a routine and embedding self care within it, whether it is dedicating time to the gym, creating, or reading.” ~Aaliyah Payton (she/her), Political Science Major

So go ahead. Be the cat. Be dramatic. Be fussy. But also be the owner. Schedule your vet visits. Feed yourself well. And give yourself the damn bath. 

Because self-care is self-love, and your future self deserves it. 

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Works Cited

Milla. “Toxic Self-Care: It’s Benefitting Capitalism, Not You.” Medium, 18 Nov. 2022, https://medium.com/out-of-sorts/toxic-self-care-its-benefitting-capitalism-not-you-5f61d01639de. Accessed 4 Aug. 2025.